I don't know where God is putting me. I don't understand how to explain that and now I know that it's okay to not be able to explain yourself, that God is deeper than the deepest part of you. I was so uncomfortable in my Beth Moore class on Monday. About halfway through, I felt this weightless pressure all over me and inside me. I wanted to leave but I HAD to hear what she was going to say.
I'm glad I stayed . . . there wasn't really a good chance to leave anyway. The discussion started immediately after the video, but I am thankful now that God didn't allow Kelly to let us take a break and get snacks. I saw women rally together and pray and other wonderful secret things.
Still, the lesson was heavy for me. I felt that "tension" even when I got home. So, I don't know where God is putting me, or taking me.
I am truly enjoying my Beth Moore Bible study and even more so, I love reading her blog. She says out loud so many of the things I think but if I were to say those things out loud, people would think I was crazy or blasphemous. "Sometimes God doesn't behave." --Kelly, I know you understand.
I don't know how many times I've had this conversation with God. "God, you know where my ______ is. PLEASE give me the insight to find it. Please tell me. I know you know where it is and I need it."
I am very excited about my CVS trip this week. CoverGirl is on sale and great ECBs. I love getting free makeup. :) I ordered some Mary Kay tonight and I am super excited about getting the new holiday stuff and it should be here in less than a week. Ladies, check your mailboxes this week -- the new Look Book should be arriving soon. The new Cotton fragrance is wonderful.
I'm also excited about my retreat this weekend. I'm speaking on how to live under your budget and I am really really excited about it. I've never gone on one of the retreats, but as I realized when I was in the hospital after having Jedidiah . . . I am now a woman and no longer in the "in-between-phase."
4 comments:
Thanks for your great thoughts, Bethany. It's so nice to hear that other women struggle with the same things- and we all do. I like your sharing that you are a "woman" now and not in between anymore. Yeah, motherhood has a way of doing that to you. :) I'm sure those at your retreat will be blessed by what you have to say. Good luck!
I would love to hear what you have to say about living under your budget. I need all of the help that I can get!
I'm so glad you are liking the BM study. (hee hee I just said BM study) I started my Disciple 1 study with some of the W@H ladies today and I got sooo much out of my quiet time. I'm at a place right now where I just need quiet time with God or I can't function right. Well, I guess we ALWAYS need quiet time with God, but I *NEEEEEEEED* it now... haha!! KWIM?? I so understand you!!
Sidenote: I am enjoying all the extra pictures in your blogs. Pictures make blogs more fun to read.
Can you go look at my CVS transactions and see if they look good to you? I can't believe I'm asking you for advice... what happened here?!?! haha!!
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